41

I turned 41 over the weekend. What a great age to be! I spent part of the weekend at a friend of a friend's cabin near Barnum. A beautiful log sided home on the top of a hill surrounded by 10 acres of trees with a creek with a natural pool for swimming. Kim, Amy, Jambalaya, Gladys, Sadie, Buck, and I had a blast. Most of the weekend was spent on the porch, in the hammock, going for walks, and having a fire. Extremely relaxing and I was overdue for such a weekend. Oh, they hand made some birthday posters for me. I should post some pictures...

Otherwise, yep, I'm ready to be a mom! I am approaching 9 months of waiting. Last estimate I had gotten from CHSFS was 6-9 months. All indicators pointed to the fact that it just wasn't happening for me and other families within that time frame. I contacted my Ethiopia representative and she has confirmed my estimate of 10-11 months. That means I will probably get the call mid-October to mid-November.

Today is my 1 year anniversary of starting the process. I just turned 41. I will be waiting twice as long as I was originally anticipating. Unfortunately, this is how things go in international adoption. Yes, I could be terribly upset, and some days I have been incredibly pissed off. But at who and at what??? Life? I know that there is no person or country or institution to be able to pissed off at. I also know that when I get that call that my child has just lost their first family. I know my child is grieving. I know my child's first family is grieving. It is a time of celebration for me, but also know the seriousness of the situation for others. I've been doing lots of reading and talking. I'm trying to keep my expectations of what life will be like with a child appropriate. There are going to be difficult exhausting times. I have to admit, at times I'm scared. I've had way too much time to think about it. If I would have gotten pregnant, I know I would have been a little more focused on my own body rather than just preparing for my child. I'm lucky to have this time to prepare. I have been reading about attachment and post adoption depression. Even though I've been a pediatric nurse for 19 years, I thought maybe I was a little over confident in my normal baby care knowledge. Nope, I realized I'm NOT overconfident. I'm sure there are things I won't know, but after reading some baby care books, I do know one or two things. That's something to be thankful for. I won't have that stress and I will be able to help my friends out that aren't as familiar with babies.

I'm heading to the BWCA at the end of this month for a 4 day retreat at Camp du Nord. Yoga, paddling, reading, hiking, relaxing. All women. I'm looking forward to it. I haven't been to this part of the BWCA, so will be a bit of an adventure. I have heard great things about the Wolf Center in Ely and will hopefully check that out on the way up.

Ok, so another good thing, it seems that if I wait as long as it looks like, I will have enough PTO to have my entire 12 week family leave paid for. That is definitely a stress reducer.

Let's see, other good things...
I saw Buck swim a bit over the weekend.
The Repubicans will be leaving town soon.
...well there's a start. Let me know what else is good in your life...