Worry

Is this just the beginning of worrying? Is that what parenthood is all about? How can I be worrying about my child already if I haven't met him/her and they probably haven't even been born yet. What are they going through? Is there anyone to hold them, feed them, and love them until they are in my arms?

I may be learning to have a little faith in all of this. I just don't have control. I'm used to being in control of most situations, at work and home. As far as adoption goes, I have to give that up. A lesson in patience.

Another worry I have is that the Ethiopian government may close adoptions to singles. While these rumors have been circulating for an extended period of times, they are still there. Ethiopia's courts just reopened, and there are no official changes for now. I feel in my gut that I will slip through somehow. It seems I am always very lucky in this regard. Things always work out for me. I have a wonderful life. I keep getting reminded of this. A work friend just returned from a short surgical mission trip. It was her first. To see the emotions on her face brings back all of my memories of China. If you are reading this it means you are EXTREMELY fortunate. I try to remember everything we have when I think about to complain or feel sorry for myself.

Do you think blogs are narcissistic? Does anyone really care what I think? :)